The onslaught of pumpkin spice stirs an irrational irritation not because I dislike Pumpkin Spice Lattes™, but because its debut reminds me that consistent Fall weather is at least 2 months away.

And if there is one thing that every Christian knows, it’s that Halloween is a demonic holiday created by Paganists and Satanists in order to put razor blades and poison into the hands of our children. You think my parents would let us go trick or treating door-to-door while the devil was out roaming the streets?

“Does it feel real yet?” “I think so?” I scanned my much emptier home. One stack of boxes sat in the furthest corner, the other behind me. I had been in this house for seven years now, which in the time of typical early-to-mid-20’s apartment hopping felt like a lifetime.

I like to ask people why they decided to reach out to me. Maybe something about my ad piqued your interest, maybe you just love my Twitter, maybe my SEO efforts are finally yielding fruit. I’m not fishing for compliments…don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna turn down a compliment. I’m a Leo after all. (August 5. Mark your calendars.)

I grew up hearing that too. Sex should be special. But how exactly does that work? If you’re waiting until marriage and sex with them isn’t “special,” did you totally fuck everything up?

If there’s one thing that the past year of pandemic and quarantine has taught me it’s that loneliness is a hell of a drug. I believe that loneliness is more complex than our brains can process it in its entirety.

Some of my favorite restaurants along Buford Highway, Doraville, and Duluth. Because discretion doesn’t mean that we can’t still enjoy a meal together.

Maybe I had been putting it off. I grew up at Turner Field. Truist is bigger, nicer, cleaner. Like the Braves had a string of good luck and moved to the “good” part of town.

“I’m having a good time,” I say out loud. I’m having a better time than good, and I’m going to make sure it keeps getting gooder and gooder. But I like to keep a few cards to myself.

I am not the only blonde or funny or curvaceous or tall escort. But I am the only Anna Carter. In this regard, the only competition would be like…if a hotter, funnier future-me came to the present. And while I do keep getting hotter and funnier with every passing moment, I regret to inform you that you’re stuck with my current, present form.